Winner: Gilbert Gottfried
Yes, he was the first pseudo-celeb sent home from Rachael vs. Guy last week, but we think it's best for his career as a former insurance-selling duck to minimize association with the bizarre series. Now he can focus on more important things, like running away from random strangers that corner him on the street and beg him to say "AFLAC!"
On a side note, fans of Kathy Najimy were elated that she bested him in a head to head elimination competition, with one of them saying "Her win was epic! It would be a tragedy to see her go when I'm so close to remembering who exactly she is."
Loser: The Pizza Goat
Technically, it's the slice-chomping farm animal's owner who's the loser, since the guy got slapped with sexual assault charges. But the famous Billy, who has made journeys to numerous NYC pie shops, saw its reputation tarnished by the fact that he was this dude's wing-goat.
Come to think of it, the accusations are not that surprising. In fact, the whole scandal reminded us of an important truism that we somehow forgot: anyone who brings a goat to a pizza place is frickin' weird.
Winner: Soul Cycle
The cycling program with a rabid cult following was given some food-world cred when Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons stopped by for a ride. Their visit further justifies our endless chatter about the classes. If Tom and Gail were there, convos to the nature of "OMG, did you bust it out to Parker's Ke$ha mash up in yesterday's 6 PM?" = so not annoying.
Loser: Burger King's Chicken Nuggets
In a taste test, the nicest thing a Zagat editor could muster about the new product was: "I feel like the nuggets absorbed all the saliva out of my mouth. It just dried my mouth out completely." 'Nuff said.
Winner: Burger King's Chocolate Molten Bites
The new dessert item was easily the best of the new BK offerings, largely because it erased the taste of the previous item from our mouth.