NYCWFF: Cocktails Ever After with Bethenny Frankel

The skinny princess; Photo by Hernan F. Rodriguez 

By Kathleen Squires

There once was a Skinny Princess, who lived in a skinny house. She was a sad Skinny Princess because she drank 24 proof cocktails and she never, ever got drunk. Last night, she held the skinny party at a skinny castle called the Dream Downtown, a magical place where another skinny princess liked to party with her skinny mother, and run down evil, overweight pedestrians.

There was skinny food: herbed popcorn and dime-sized beet tarts. She stocked the bar with SkinnyGirl cocktails. There was a skinny DJ and even skinnier security guards. (She was royalty, after all). After all the skinny preparations were in place, she looked around the room and beamed in anticipation.


The skinny guests arrived in numerous, undernourished clusters. They had waited hours just to get a look at the Skinny Princess as she sat behind lean velvet ropes on a bony, white throne. She drank and drank her skinny cocktails as the skinny guests adored her. But she still never got drunk. And she never found a skinny prince to swoop her off her feet, as the guests were made up of 96% princesses and a queen or 13.

After the skinny guests had their fill, they left the Dream Downtown in search of strong, fat girl drinks and lard-laden desserts when they heard of another party called Sweet, hosted by a healthy, Semi-homemade Princess named Sandra Lee. As the last skinny guest left the party, the Skinny Princess was left all alone. Sober ever after.