"Patrick Bateman would kill for a reservation at this place."
"Service staff could use some help from the downton abbey folks."
"I recommend hiring their publicist but avoiding actually eating there."
"Pastrami from heaven, served in purgatory."
"I like my martinis dirty, not my plates."
"On the night I was there the drapes caught fire. Other than that terrific!"
"Severely overpriced. you will be seated according to your credit card color."
"No need to use a fork... a toothpick will suffice."
"The only thing bigger than the steaks is the hair of the real housewives of bensonhurst at the next table."
"Treated like a number instead of a person but the food is very good so i will be a number."
Wait staff's noses were higher than the prices.
"Like an old hooker, she was good in her day."
Be sure to let us know your thoughts in the comments, or via Google+ and Twitter using the hashtag #ZagatNYC2013.