It’s so simple, Gordon. You’ve done it a million times before. Just shout an insult or two at an adoring fan and the charity of your choice can have £6,000 (nearly $10,000 in real money). How hard could it be for the chef labeled ‘TV’s Angriest Man” by the Atlantic?
But Gordon Ramsay is no trained dog. He doesn’t just bark on command - even when it might benefit someone else.
"I was in Vegas and this guy came up to me and said, 'It is my 50th birthday. Would you mind calling me a donkey?' I said, 'I'm not calling you a donkey.' Then the guy said, 'I will donate £6,000 to charity,' but no I didn't do it," Ramsay told Britain’s Daily Express (via The Toronto Sun).
Ramsay has his standards. You have to earn ‘donkey.’
One man who's taken his fair share of verbal abuse has learned to avoid confrontations with Rambo. Asked whether he’d take dog-ownership advice from Ramsay, season seven Hell’s Kitchen contestant Jason Santos landed decidedly in the negatory.
“Probably not…..from what I have heard, swearing at your dog probably doesn’t help so I would probably politely decline his advice,” the smurf-haired Santos told Boston.com.
Now for a brief segment that will from here on be called ‘The Week in Other Gordon Ramsays’:
On his shows, Ramsay dispense quite a bit of advice, but it’s too bad he doesn’t produce “Ramsay 5-0.” It looks like other Chief Gordon Ramsay, of the Duluth, Minn. police department, can use Chef Ramsay’s help!
The Duluth News Tribune is reporting that Ramsay’s department is under investigation for its data handling (or lack thereof).
Can you picture the show? Gordo would stroll into the station house, see a couple of bulky PCs running DOS and yell “Does this look like proper equipment for a constable!? You donkey.”
That would definitely reach the same ratings highs that Hotel Hell and Hell’s Kitchen hit on Monday.
On this week’s episode of Hotel Hell, Ramsay checked into San Diego’s Keating Hotel, the so-called “Ferrari of hotels.”
“It’s different than anything else,” a staffer told Ramsay about his room. But Gordo didn’t take kindly to the joint’s car-inspired design.
“It’s different from a nice hotel room,” Ramsay replied.
Later on, Ramsay went nuclear on the hotel’s demanding owner, Eddie Kaen.
“It’s like you’re a little magpie. A little spoiled <bleep>ing magpie that’s running around picking up little bits of litter and getting your army to expedite it for you,” Ramsay scathed.
Someone get Kaen a fire extinguisher for that blazing simile, because it’s leaving a CLASSIC. GORDO. BURN.
Burn was the name of the game throughout Ramsay’s shows this week. With only four contestants remaining on Hell’s Kitchen, Ramsay and sous chef Scott Leibfried spent much of the episode sabotaging dishes to test contestants’ ability to catch imperfections.
The best reaction of the night came when contestant Christina Wilson noticed a would-be spinach garnish wasn’t spinach.
“What the <bleep>? That’s arugula,” Wilson exclaimed.
While Wilson faired well, contestant Dana Cohen stumbled all night long … which might explain why she told her competitors, “I feel like nobody did, like, bad tonight.”
The show ended in a cliff-hanger. Contestant Barbie Marshall was sent home, inexplicably, before Cohen, but Ramsay promised one more contestant would be sent packing at the start of next week’s episode.
Cohen’s surprising survival was nothing compared to what happened on Tuesday’s episode of MasterChef.
First, we caught sight of the MasterChef jet. Then, Staten Island’s own, contestant Frank Mirando, declared by this column to be the favorite just a few weeks ago, was done in by a three-soufflé elimination challenge.
Guess he couldn’t rise to the challenge. (Get it? Classic. Soufflé. Joke)