Like Agent Smith before him, Gordon Ramsay seems capable of infinite self-replication.
Just last week we found out that the man who already has four shows on American television is casting for a fifth, Food Court Wars, in which teams will battle for Alabama mall supremacy. And like a seemingly unstoppable virus, hell-bent on overrunning the primetime matrix, Gordon Ramsay has more shows planned yet.
Ramsay tweeted on July 12 that he wants to replicate his newest British show, Gordon Ramsay Behind Bars, in the States.
“I’m currently looking at a US prison!” (sic), he said in response to a fan’s request that he send a sampling of the British prisoners’ baked goods across the pond.
But if Ramsay is an Agent Smith-like villain, who is the cooking world’s Neo? Only one chef can save mankind from the Ramsay takeover: Marcus Samuelsson.
It took about a month, but Ramsay’s PR team finally responded to the allegation in Samuelsson’s memoir that Ramsay called him a “black bastard” years ago.
From Britain’s Daily Mail:Ramsay’s spokesman said: ‘We’re shocked by these completely false and extremely offensive accusations. Gordon has always had an amicable relationship with Mr Samuelsson, even suggesting him as a fellow judge when MasterChef started in the US two years ago.
This was an offer Mr. Samuelsson readily entertained, traveling to LA twice to audition alongside Gordon, hours of which are captured on video, so we are understandably baffled as to why he would make these statements as well as publicly claim in a recent interview that their paths “haven’t crossed” since the alleged call.
‘We can only think this bizarre denial and these malicious comments have been made in order to garner publicity for Mr Samuelsson’s book and therefore we will pursue such actions as we deem appropriate against Mr Samuelsson and his publishers.’
I’d suggest they have an old-fashioned Western showdown, but on Monday’s MasterChef we saw just how unfortunate it can be when celebrity chefs and restaurateurs play cowboy dress up.
Judge Joe Bastianich looked, just … ridiculous.
Despite being dressed like a bald Hedley Lamarr, Bastianich didn’t seem nearly as mean as the contestants themselves, who once again chose blind contestant Christine Ha last when picking teams. (Keep in mind, the judges regularly gush over Ha’s food.)
Meanwhile, MasterChef’s Wal-Mart steak product plug-a-thon continued this week.
“Treat these gorgeous steaks with the respect they deserve,” said Bastianich as contestants began preparing food for 101 “real” cowboys. A few minutes later a cowboy chimed in, “These steaks are so tender, I can’t believe you can get something like this at Wal-Mart.”
The non-stop Wal-Mart onslaught didn’t go unnoticed by former contestant Michael Chen, who tweeted midway through Tuesday’s episode, “No #WalMart commercials on #MasterChef yet! Hope I didn't speak too soon...”
But rest assured, the Mart would have its spotlight, as Chen noted:
“AND I SPOKE TOO SOON. Here is #MasterChef's Money Cow, #Walmart. I guess I should be thankful to them for making MasterChef possible...”
Although MasterChef fits the family-friendly image Wal-Mart tries to maintain, Hell’s Kitchen doesn’t quite seem right for the retail giant. Consider some of this week’s best insults:
“You ain’t never jogged a day in your life and your ass shows it,” said contestant Barbie Marshall to contestant Kimmie Willis.
Later, when contestant Dana Cohen served up a dish of raw lobster, Ramsay showed how to use pop culture references to land the perfect smack down.
“They’re pinker inside than Paris Hilton’s lips,” Ramsay said of the lobster.
But sometimes it’s better to just be straightforward, like when Hell’s Kitchen sous chef Andi Van Willigan let contestant Tiffany Johnson know what she thinks of Johnson’s chef skills.
“You’re the sloppiest cook I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” Van Willigan said, before kicking Johnson out of the kitchen.
Johnson, who was later booted from Hell’s Kitchen, might be sloppy, but please don’t question her passion for cooking.
“I care about food more than I care about my family,” Johnson said on Tuesday’s episode.
Hey, that gives me an idea for another new show! Gordon Ramsay’s Home Invasion, in which the celebrity chef fixes dysfunctional kitchens … and families.