- He thanked Lord and Lady Beckham for their love and support during his emotional falling out with his father-in-law
- He fed the One Direction tots steak
- We found out that the upstate New York hotel that had been the focus of an episode of his forthcoming Hotel Hell (in which he saves struggling businesses) closed for good
- He screwed up the Union Jack
- Gordo also joked about the time Mike Tyson treated Holyfield’s ear like a slice of jerky.
Speaking of jerk, normally the contestants of Hillbilly Handfishin’ … oops, I mean Hell’s Kitchen, take top honors in the “did you forget you’re on national TV?” category, but this week MasterChef gives HK a run for the money.
Round One: MasterChef came out swinging on Monday night, when contestants David Martinez and Frank Mirando - asked to choose teams - left contestant Christine Ha for last. Ha, of course, is the contestant whose food has been lauded almost without exception throughout the competition. Also, she’s blind.
Hell’s Kitchen countered with a classic HK jab - the ‘ol “contestant (Tiffany Johnson) gets drunk and wrongly tells other contestant (Kimmie Willis) that teammates have been trash-talking her and all hell breaks loose” routine.
Round One goes to MasterChef! Hell’s Kitchen contestants single each other out for everything from weight to upbringing and even race, but leaving Ha out would be low even for them.
Round Two: Later on Monday’s MasterChef episode, which featured the two teams catering for a couple hundred marines and Graham Elliot pioneering the hipster glasses/camouflage helmet look, contestant Ryan Umane did his very best impression of a Hell’s Kitchen contestant. “If ever there was a time to flash a nip ladies,” Umane told his teammates as members of the United States Marine Corps prepared to vote for the winner.
On Hell’s Kitchen, it was Tiffany again throwing the gas. In this case, literally: “I just ripped ass,” she announced to her teammates as they set up a runway for Hell’s Kitchen Fashion Night (that’s a real thing they did).
Round Two goes to MasterChef: This was a close call, but MasterChef just proves more outrageous (and gross).
Bonus Round: Narcissism a.k.a. stuff MasterChef contestant Tali Clavijo says: After the judges hated his crab dish: “They’re not seeing the art behind the plate here. It’s like mind boggling. Honestly, I think that my stuff is so good, that they can’t even see the potential.”
And later, on the subject of always being among the bottom-feeders in the MasterChef kitchen: “Before brilliance comes madness.”