1/25/2012 10:00:00 AM

6 Restaurants For Doing Your Dirty Work

The line at Shake Shack is ideal for a bomb drop. 
In an ideal world, restaurants would only be full of happy diners enjoying the food, drink and company. In the real world, people often to have uncomfortable talks in the safety of public eateries (flipping a table in a crowded restaurant isn't so attractive. When you have some dirty work to do, these 6 places are good bomb-dropping bets.

The Deed: Beginning or ending a torrid affair.
Where to Do It: Pulqueria
With a street address many New Yorkers have never heard of, unmarked, candlelit entrance, dungeon-like space and dark mood lighting, this Chinatown Mexican seems tailor-made for affairs, so naturally it’s the perfect place for politicos and their down-low companions, especially since the youngish clientele will be too busy getting loaded to notice.

The Deed: If You need to tell a friend she is being cheated on
Where to Do It: Hurricane Club
When you know a conversation is going to be so dreadful that you just can’t go it alone, round up your friends and head to this Polynesian-themed adult Disneyland where you can break the bad news among palm fronds, PuPu platters and Paul-Bunyan-sized drinks served in watermelons. P.S. make sure the person you're telling the bad news to loads up on pineapple rum dums first.

The Deed: You need to tell your parents something they don’t want to hear – like you’re quitting law school to become a blogger. 
Where to Do It: ABC Kitchen
When you have the ability to really pre-plan your bomb drop – and also know you won’t be paying the bill – this Jean-Georges' New American in ABC Carpet is the perfect place, delivering service so civilized and a setting so calming and serene that even the worst news will land with a muffled thump.

The Deed: Performing one of the the world's most dreaded tasks: the friend break-up.
Where to Do It: Dallas BBQ
Sometimes you know you’re in for a conversation so arduous and painful that your salvation can come in one form and one form only: a neon slushy drink the size of your head. (Also, onion loaf makes anything better.)

The Deed: If you have to deliver a Jerry-Springer level message, like you’re pregnant by your boyfriend’s twin brother…or father.
Where to Do it: Johnny Utah’s
There are thousands of restaurants in New York City, so the only explanation for choosing a Texas-themed behemoth in Midtown with a mechanical bull is that diners are either drunk or mentally unbalanced, or both, so when you need to tell someone something so bad they might behave like table-flipping Teresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey, this is your place. Plus, if things get really bad, you can always take refuge on the bull.

The Deed: After a beer-soaked night and some late-night pizza you made the ill-advised decision to go home with a long-time pal or, even worse, co-worker, and in the harsh light of day, realize you have to walk the delicate balance of making it clear you never want to do that again ever, but still want to remain friends.
Where to Do It: Shake Shack
The downside to this original Flatiron burger shack is that the line is often looooong; the upside is that you can have an uncomfortable, cringe-worthy conversation completely wrapped up before you order, leaving you to enjoy your Shackstack and Hopscotch without complication. Plus, some discussions need to be kept easy breezy, and nothing keeps the heavies away like standing up – and brazen street-smart squirrels.


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